Octopussy Funnies 2

	YOU CAN'T BE FIRST BUT YOU CAN BE NEXT


Ever wondered where all those Wieners come from that are sold in the local convenience stores.

The best way to tell if your driving causes accidents.

These giant Catfish are very rare so before anybody could examine it.

THEY ATE IT.

Some times shopping can be a pain, even more so when you have no boot (trunk).

Believe it or not there is a guy and a motor bike under that lot.

SOMETHING'S DON’T MAKE

SENSE?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

If con is the opposite of pro, then what is the opposite of progress?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words,

How dangerous is a fax?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?

Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money?

They already know you don't have?

What year did Jesus think it was?

If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said:

"Quit while you're ahead"?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If 7-11's are open 24-7 and 365 days a year why do they have locks on their doors?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Whose cruel idea was is to put the 's' in lisp?

How can you be ALONE with somebody? Think about it...

DUMB LAWS FROM AROUND

THE WORLD

England

It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a cow

Taxis are required to carry a bale of hay and a bag of oats

All English males over 14 must carry out long bow practice for two hours every week

It is legal for a male to urinate in public so long as it’s on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle

Except on Sundays it is legal to kill a Scotsman with a bow and arrow

It is legal to kill a Welshman with a bow and arrow inside a cities walls after 12pm

Singapore

It is illegal to pee in an elevator

It is an offence not to flush a public lavatory

It is illegal to enter Singapore with cigarettes

Canada

It is illegal to own a log cabin

It is an offence to climb a tree

It is against the law to paint a ladder

On release from prison you are required to be given a horse and a gun and to ride out of town

Australia

It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of the pavement

You cannot wear pink hot pants after noon on a Sunday

It is illegal for a modem to pick up on the first ring

United States

It is illegal to pile horse manure higher than six feet on a street corner

You may not fish from a camels back

You can not have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency

If you jump off a building and survive the maximum penalty is death

It is illegal for a unmarried woman to skydive on a Sunday

It is an offence to shower naked

Thailand

It is an offence to leave your house not wearing underwear

You can not drive a car without a shirt on

The fine for dropping used bubble gum is 24600 Baht

It is illegal to stand on the currency

Have Bell helmets lost the plot.

Some SUV's come with a few more extras like doors and a roof but you will never beat the gas mileage.

Don't clamber up anything climbing up is the professional way to do it.

Funnies

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